


Asexual Scripps

by the_only_education_worth_having



Category: History Boys (2006), History Boys - All Media Types, History Boys - Bennett
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexuality, Gen, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 13:28:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11381142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_only_education_worth_having/pseuds/the_only_education_worth_having
Summary: Scripps finds out who he is.





	Asexual Scripps

**Author's Note:**

> This is just drabbles about scripps coming to terms with being asexual. Inspired by headcanons on tumblr.

Scripps was 30 when he found out who he was. He hadn’t expected it, that there was actually a word for what he was. That other people felt this way too. He’d always just assumed that there was something wrong with him. No, not wrong, different.

He’d first noticed in his second year of high school. Dakin had taken a shine to the new French teacher and he hadn’t stopped talking about her for nearly a week. She was pretty he supposed but the way Dakin spoke about her, the intensity, he just couldn’t grasp. He’d figured it was just the woman, she just wasn’t his type, and her personality was all wrong for him etc. and left it at that. As he progressed through school, however, Scripps found that this wasn’t the case. Every girl seemed to have this effect on him. He’d listen in the changing rooms to boys raving about sex and girls and he’d go along with it, not really understanding why he didn’t feel the same. 

In sixth form he’d thought that religion would help. That somehow actively avoiding sex, girls and masturbating would help him clear his head. God would help him see what he wanted and then he could get on with his life, and be normal. It hadn’t worked. Once he got to Oxford he gave up being celibate. It wasn’t the same as when he was at school. The boys hadn’t really understood the whole “religion” thing but they’d accepted it. People at university thought it was a stunt to make him seem less mainstream and appear more interesting. 

At 19 he got his first girlfriend. A friend of a friend that Dakin had set him up with. He’d told him that “19 is far too old to still be single”. Though this was very hypocritical, as Dakin was not one for a permanent girlfriend, so Scripps suspected that this was code for “19 is far too old not to have lost your virginity.” Her name was Lucy. They got on really well. She was attractive though a little plain but Scripps thought she was cute. She was an English student who dreamed of being an author and they would often spend nights after studying talking about their favourite books. Though as time went on Scripps could tell they would not last. In the few months they’d been together they’d had sex a handful of times, and this took its toll. He tried but he just couldn’t see the excitement. And though Lucy was understanding she couldn’t help but think he just didn’t like her so they broke up.

University progressed pretty much the same after that. He’d see a girl usually for a matter of weeks before they split up and after a while, he gave up. One day late in his third year, he’d gone to Posner’s for the afternoon to revise. Normally Scripps would have kept this to himself. But Pos was the most understanding of them all, maybe he could help. When they decided to have a break Scripps had posed the question.   
“How did you know?”  
“Hmm?” Said Posner.  
“How did you know? You know, that you were…”   
“Gay, do you mean?” Posner said, raising an eyebrow  
“Well yeah…” Scripps trailed off. He’d rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed.  
“I don’t know, I just did. When I was younger I just didn’t see girls like all the other boys did. And then there was the whole thing with Dakin and I just knew. Why?”  
“I was just wondering, I mean do you not think I could be?”  
“I think you’d know if you were.”  
“I don’t know. I thought maybe if it wasn’t girls it would be boys but I’ve never had what you did. With anyone.”   
Posner looked at him and started to say something but decided against it. He didn’t really know what to say. By now Scripps had become embarrassed by this show of vulnerability and turned back to his work. Staring intently at this paper to avoid having to look at Posner.

At 25 he’d put his theory to the test. If not girls it must be boys he’d thought. A night out with Posner and his new boyfriend had meant that he’d found himself in a gay bar that had just opened. He’d never been one for clubs but he’d drank enough to help him feel comfortable, though he had to be coerced into dancing. He’d just been chatting at the bar with this guy and then found himself being dragged to the dance floor. Posner thought this was hilarious. The guy was a few years older than him, very tall, very muscular and attractive. They danced for a while before Scripps had rallied round and found the courage to kiss him. It was okay. He’d enjoyed it, but the light bulb moment he’d anticipated never came. It wasn’t boys either. 

And so Scripps accepted himself. Around his 30th birthday, he’d decided that he couldn’t force himself to be straight or gay or even bisexual. He’d gotten on with his life, graduated. Got a job with a newspaper and did some freelance articles on the side. He moved into a small apartment in North London and saw Dakin and Posner fairly regularly, the other boys on occasion. He was content. 

At 30 he’d been asked to write an article about how views on sexuality have changed from the 80s to now. Like all projects, he’d researched thoroughly. It was here he’d found the article ‘LGBTQA+ what does it all mean?’ As he read through he’d noticed that there was a list of definitions printed at the bottom of the page. 

Asexuality - is the lack of sexual attraction to others or low or absent interest in or desire for sexual activity. It may be considered the lack of sexual orientation or a variation of orientation alongside heterosexuality, homosexuality or bisexuality. 

Scripps read and reread the definition. This was him! It described exactly how he felt. He couldn’t believe he’d never heard this before. He’d heard of something asexual before in biological terms a cell reproducing or whatever but not as a feeling. Not as a person being asexual. And found that he wasn’t alone. Though it wasn’t as big or as known as say homosexuality it was still something thousands of people identified with. He was normal. And as he read through the article he could feel himself crying. The realisation had hit him like a ton of bricks. “I’m normal,” he whispered. 

At 31 Scripps had told Dakin. “Yeah, I thought so.” Dakin had said nonchalantly as if he’d been waiting for Scripps to realise. Scripps didn’t reply but instead rolled his eyes and shoved Dakin hard on the shoulder. Posner was different. He’d automatically accepted him, as Dakin had, but it seemed to have become his mission to help Scripps navigate his way through finding himself. Helping him “come out” and finding ways to educate others. 

By 32 Scripps knew who he was. He’d accepted himself. He was normal.


End file.
